Peter Mandelson is actually doing something positive for the country! I know that you’re probably sceptical of this, but it’s true – he is indeed:

Peter Mandelson is at the centre of a Whitehall row over a planned clampdown on cigarette sales which threatens to overshadow this week’s Queen’s Speech.

Alan Johnson, the Health Secretary, is said to have legislation which would ban big displays of cigarettes – effectively forcing their sale under the counter – “ready to go” as a key part of the Government’s programme for the next 12 months.

However, Mr Mandelson’s department, Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform (BERR), is said to be objecting to the proposals on the grounds that they would harm the profitability of small businesses during the slump. (The Telegraph)

Even though this is likely to be nothing to do with the Dark Lord himself, at the very least he isn’t overruling his department.

This legislation would make the credit crunch and recession even more devastating than it would otherwise be for small retail businesses, something I thought the government were supposed to be trying to prevent – albeit rather poorly – rather than cause?

Even if we ignore the economic case against this, the personal choice one is more than strong enough alone – people know that cigarettes are bad for them and can decide for themselves whether or not to smoke.

Maybe Mandelson can redeem himself one tiny iota by saving us from such horrific legislation, born of an unholy alliance between economic imbeciles and nanny-staters.