Jacqui Smith is claiming that her use of the second homes allowance was “fair and reasonable” because it is in the “it’s the nature of the job of being an MP that they have to live in two houses.”

Yes, that is true. But you weren’t furnishing and running two properties. You were furnishing and running one property and “living” in your sister’s spare room. If you had been claiming market-level rent for that room, there would have been no problems. But instead you cheated the system and defrauded the taxpayer.

And her excuse for claiming £10 worth of porn?

When you put in a claim and you put in a receipt on which there are a number of items, obviously people can pick out one of them and say ‘why did you claim for that?’ but that is because you put in the whole of the receipt.

So you don’t even look at the expense claims you submit? So you’re not corrupt but just incompetent, eh? Yeah, because that’s so much better.