Somethings are always despicable. Such as saying that the one thing you’d do if you could go back in time is:

go back to the 1980s and assassinate Thatcher

Or indeed anyone else.

John McDonnell has ensured that he will never ever become Prime Minister, even if he does by some freak miracle manage to get elected Labour leader. It doesn’t really count as political assassination though, as McDonnell hasn’t really got much of a political career anyway.

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Looking at the Labour leadership candidates, one can’t help but feel sorry for Labour to have to choose from a poll of such lightweights. The biggest political beast in there is David Miliband, and he looks barely more than 12 (despite the attempt at growing a moustache and his tiny grey patch).

The best candidate of the lot to my mind (ignoring partisan politics – in which case my first choice would obviously be John McDonnell, and of the front runners, Ed Balls) is Diane Abbott. She is the only one of them who actually seems likeable and like a “real person” rather than a political apparatchik. But she’s not even likely to get the thirty-three MP nominations she needs to get onto the ballot paper.

But of the real candidates – aka the Milibands and Balls – I can only see one of them as a potential Prime Minister, and that’s David Miliband (even if he does need to grow up first), even with his banana photos.

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Speaking of political assassination, Harriet Harman is seeking to kill off half of her male colleagues in demanding that half of Labour’s Shadow Cabinet be female. Quite why whether or not someone has a penis (or indeed the colour of their skin or their sexual orientation) should determine whether or not they have a job is beyond me.